“When will my life get better?” Are you a victim of being a victim? Here’s how you can change it!

No-one wants to admit to thinking and living like a victim. And as victim mentality is one of those super-sensitive subjects that have the capacity to elicit an immediate and highly defensive response, I am aware that I may be treading on very thin ice with this blog.

However, it is something that I feel very passionate about because I have worked with hundreds and hundreds of people who have reduced their own lives (and those of their nearest and dearest) to miserable rubble, as a result of focusing on what they have ‘been through’. I am not, for one second, suggesting that there is no such thing as victimhood; absolutely not, that would be ridiculous. However, it is actually possible to be a victim, without being a victim… if you understand what I mean.

So, what does thinking, feeling and behaving like a victim entail?

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You have the power to start feeling better NOW – that HAS to be worth smiling about!

I was looking at some pictures of myself and my partner, taken around 5 years ago, and I was disappointed to see how much my face had aged. I gazed at my straight-faced reflection in the mirror, and it suddenly struck me… what was missing was my smile! I grinned warmly into my own eyes, and then glanced back at the pictures… and was heartened to see that, actually, there wasn’t a huge amount of difference between the younger me, and the current, older me. Some aging, yes; a plumper face, agreed – but the smile somehow negated enough of that to be reassuring!

Now, I understand, it doesn’t take a genius to work out that a smiling face looks more alive and vibrant than one adorned with a serious or vacant expression: however, I suddenly became acutely aware of how my face felt, when I wasn’t smiling… and the word that immediately came to mind was droopy… and who the hell wants to feel droopy? It is hardly high energy! Read more